2017 Rebel Queen Reloaded
No matter how much people hate to admit it, most of us have a wounded child inside of us from our childhood. I know I do. I’ve been doing some major internal work to help heal this little girl inside of me. What we fail to realize is, that by the age of 6, we have formed our little personalities and formed certain “truths” about life. Most of the time these “truths” are actually lies.
For me, I formed the “truth” that I was not wanted and not important. This of course, was a lie. However, at the age of 5 or 6, one is not able to comprehend that our parents have not dealt with their own internal issues from childhood and pass along generational issues. At the time, this was my truth and affected other areas of my life. It affected how I saw myself, resulting in low self-esteem, poor self-image, and self-worth. It also affected my relationships with other people. I sought validation outside of myself in other people. I wanted to please everyone, often at my own expense. (And still do this to a degree, I work at correcting this daily) This meant that I was often mistreated by people and did nothing about it. So for a while, I had a victim mentality. In my mind and reality at the time everyone else was mean to me and I’ve done nothing to them, etc. etc.
I didn’t want other people to be mad at me and I cared about what others thought of me. I wanted everyone to like me. But I have come to realize that people will dislike you for no reason at all. Some people will hate you because of the way you smile or the sound of your voice.
It is extremely important to find that wounded child inside of you and work on healing him or her. For me, I refused to continue to pass along generational curses. I’ve accepted the fact that my parents are human and are not perfect at all. Good, because I’m no way near perfect! My mom’s actions or words at the time I was young may have said “I don’t want you”, “I don’t love you”, “you’re not important” but as an adult, I know she wasn’t saying that at all. She had her own insecurities she wasn’t even aware of. She was doing the best she knew how.
So how do you begin to heal that wounded child? First, I had to become aware that she was there. Along my journey to self-discovery, I became aware of her and that there was some anger and unresolved issues there. I did have to seek counseling (and if you are dealing with issues of physical or sexual abuse from childhood, I would recommend seeking counseling) and it was well worth it.
Once I was aware, I had to acknowledge her and I had to spend time with her. I wrote her letters from her adult self. Apologizing to her for what she endured. Then I spent some time telling her the truth and comforting her. I let her know how much she was wanted in life and how important she really was. I also let her know how loved she really was, and still is to this day.
I accepted my mom’s humanity (as I said above) and I accepted my own. I also accepted the fact that I was the co-creator of my experiences after becoming an adult. I accepted my part in being mistreated over and over again by people. This was in friendships and relationships and even dead end jobs.
Then of course, there is forgiveness, which I practice every day. Yes, I practice this every day, as there are situations that arise constantly that cause the need to forgive people. Hurting people hurt people. Forgiven people forgive people. I’m human of course, so forgiving is something I strive to work at and hope to come to it more quickly as I continue to grow.
Is it time to heal the wounded child inside of you?