2017 Rebel Queen Reloaded
Everyone experiences heartache of some sort along their journey in life. I’ve certainly had my share of them. One experience in particular is the case of my first love. I thought I was going to marry that man! But 9 short months later we were no longer a couple.
I was devastated. I had finally found the love of my life only to have my heart ripped out and thrown away.
I could spend an entire week on the rest of the dysfunctional relationships I’ve been co-creator of, since then, but I will spare you of that. I never fully healed from that relationship and carried him around in my heart. Meaning I was not 100 percent available for future relationships and neither were the men I was dating. They were emotionally unavailable and a small part of me was as well. Thus, I was the co-creator in the dysfunction that I eventually became used to.
Fast forward to my early thirties (which I am still in thank you) and 3 dysfunctional relationships later, I find my way back to my first love. As I was on my journey to self-discovery, I realized that I had never moved on from him. I hear people say all the time that they will always have a certain person in their heart. To me, and this is just my opinion, that is unfair. That was the problem I was encountering in other relationships. How can you build a solid foundation with someone great, when you have an old flame still in your heart?
So I decided he deserved another shot. It was wonderful…in the beginning; and ended before it really started. He was even more emotionally unavailable this time around due to some extremely difficult situations he was facing in his personal life. It hurt again, and at first I felt angry with myself for opening up this door again. But I had to realize this was an opportunity for growth and expansion on a personal level for me.
To move on from the pain of this situation, from the first break up years ago, to this break up this time around, I had to become AWARE. It took a while for me to get to this point, but once I did, it was the first step in my healing process. I am the co-creator of my experiences. You are also the co-creator of your experiences.
You can take responsibility for your part or you can blame everything on the other person. Now what does this mean you may ask? Deep down, I knew he was emotionally unavailable, just like with some of the other men I dated. On the sub-conscious level of my mind, I accepted it as normal. I did not stand up for myself or communicate my truth. I did not ask for what I wanted and accepted what I was given.
Once I became aware, then I was able to move on to building my self-worth. I cannot stress enough the importance of knowing your value. When you know without a shadow of a doubt that you are worthy of love, you will not accept the trash that we tend to accept from the people we partner with in relationships. You stand up for yourself, you communicate your truth, you ask for what you want and you don’t accept less.
In order to fully let go of this situation and move on with an open heart full of love, I had to forgive. Not only just him, but I had to forgive myself. Holding on to anger and unforgiveness does nothing but harm you. Forgiving someone is a process, so patience plays a part. Show yourself compassion and mercy and stop beating yourself up. Look at this as an opprotunity to learn and grow.
There is tremendous freedom in healing from our past, as it allows us to live in the present moment and face the future optimistically. Perhaps all of the above sounds good and gives you warm fuzzies inside, but your situation is different? You know your worth and value, but you are still having a hard time moving forward? Then set up some time for a complimentary discovery session with me. Talk to th
You have the power to change your life. So you can set up a time to speak with me, or you can do nothing at all. Speaking with me, you may be able to learn some tips to implement to get you closer to moving on from that painful past to unlock a great future. Or, you can stay the same and let the past hold you hostage from creating the kind of life you were born to have. The choice is yours.
Until next time loves,